And there I was stripped down,
naked, and half dead. Treading water
in a bathtub. Pie-eyed and savage.
Awakening.
I was told awhile back that the laugh
has left life. And then I wake up and
catch sight of my cat hanging from
the shower head, lapping up yesterday’s
ablution.
My negative energy is overwhelming me
and thus my cat seems to understand, as
she cartwheels toward me cooing like a
raccoon bent on funky mushrooms.
What a feline.
I stumble out of bed and slip on a banana peel.
"CURSED WORLD" I howl as the backwards
slide has my head rattling off the walls, listen to the final smack
as my head has its weird rest on the hardwood planks.
Planks, I'm walking the plank as Jesus is beckoning me
to believe.
“I don't, I don't" I cry.
"Find your strength from within.
And remember who and what you are."
“Jesus”. I reply. As a slow fade-out brings me back
to the cool hallway in which my morning faded.
My eyes open by the coarse licks of that black devil.
The petit chaton. Wide-eyed and beautiful the cat
looks up at the ceiling in up and down motions. It
seems it wants me to follow her gaze.
I try to focus up on what seems to have been carved by
a paring knife. There I see it! It says
"my umbrella is already attached to my arm."
Curious.
It seems I have tweaked my back in a terrible bind, as
it's screaming me a wicked deluge; I unfold my knees
into erection.
Ahhh. Yes I see it now, a new day. Quiet comfort and
a backward glance bring me back to the nightmare
that unfolded a millennium ago.
Remember.
I was lying cockeyed on the bathroom floor with a
pane of glass cut through my inferior orbital (the brain).
Somehow I found the energy to sit cross-legged and
gaze at my reflection on the opposite wall, it seems
the lavatory was made of glass and there was but
one missing triangular piece. Through that hole
I caught sight of the marvelous scene of billions of
ants climbing over each other to get to the top of
the heap which was a ladder made of refuse. They were marching
tall to what looked like another dimension. I knew
it was another dimension because the more I focused
on the vanishing point, the vertex slowing started bending
toward me. Into what they called in geometry class zero-dimensional.
Basically time bent toward me and had all the ants running
at me with bent antennae screaming out obscenities about
Jesus and trouble and how could I have done that to them.
My eyes became wide and I tried desperately to stop the
bleeding, but I couldn't get the glass out of my brain.
They were getting closer and it seemed with each
lunge forward I became aware that all these ants
had faces that I had known in my lifetime.
Their arms were outstretched with fingers made of
razor wire, they wanted my eyes!
Suddenly a pounding at the bathroom door reminded
me of my legs and I kicked violently at the glass surrounding
the isosceles trapezoid. Screams like you've never heard
begun to echo through the bathroom as I stood up with a howl
from my bellows and my truth came at me like a
hungry tiger chasing down a wounded buck.
The reflections from my brain began to jump out the mirror
in my skull and whole worlds began to take shape as I began
to understand that I am shaping the realities around me.
There are no bad vibrations coming from others they are emanating
from within me.
What the hell!
I started to itch at the stitching binding this speculum to
my cranium and the blood started to clot and
run backwards into the corners of my eyes, it was
black and everything started to become black and
I tried and tried to stay sane. The knocking had me
pounding harder at the walls around me, glass shattered
and worlds took shape and suddenly doors morphed
upright from each individual shard.
Silence.
Except for a small drum beat resonating from the oak door
in front of me.
No more reflections now.
Only obtuse thought at where this door will bring me.
I bowed my head and asked God for the courage
to overcome.
Before i could finish I found myself alive, a chill
wind calming my naked body. There I was returned
to the beginning.
Falling slowly into a cool blue.
And I remembered happiness.
And I remembered how to laugh.
...easter~twenty-eleven.
