To spread the good word.

Trying hard to orientate myself with the blog world,

I decided to tag specific youtube videos in relation to

the brown illness, Crohns. I couldn't help myself, I usually

have some self-control, I slipped and read the comments posted below.

And as what usually happens when you enter the mind

of individuals, you get surprised.

Some of these questions read like this. I thought I would be kind enough to answer.

Does Crohns effect your sex life?

As those afflicted with Crohns are at risk of Anemia, not having the

energy to get yourself up and out of bed, move or shake.

Just might effect the rise of something else.

The lack of energy sure will effect your performance.

I once saw a lady pass out at the dinner table "face in the soup"

kind of thing you see in cinema, because of anemia.

Just to give you an idea.

Also, pain, stomach cramps, fear of flatulence, all situations

that might cause you sexual distress.

Just think, not making love all those hard days while fighting

Crohns. Think about after you recover.

All that pent up frustration, think of the fun you'll have

when health resumes!

Humor and Crohns!

It's a necessity for survival. You have to have fun with it.

You, the afflicted. Hold within, a tool, CH_4.

That is the atomic number for Methane. You and I. Us Crohns

citizens carry within something truly atomic.

Use it!

I was in a Foosball tournament in College some years back.

When the beer began an obvious rumble.
I loved bars for the noise. No one could hear the

whining of my guts. Something that caused me some

embarrassment upon introduction to the opposite sex.

They would always make a queer face, and I knew they were wondering,

waiting for the inevitable.

Anyways, Foosball.

The beer meets intestinal tract, a

viscous gas begins to brew, and needs to find an exit, fast.

The smell is something that demands attention. As foosball

requires total focus. Yoda like Jedi reflexes. My opponents

wince, always left room for manoeuvre. I couldn't lose.

Is that cheating, well, like Houdini said when asked how

he could lift so much weight, Leverage.

Pitchers in baseball rub all kinds of strange substances to

aid their curve-ball. I'm sure if it would work, CH₄

might bring about a new definition to the baseball term "the heater".

Oh No! Here comes the HEATER! Catchers

diving out of the way, stolen bases, mayhem.

In high-school after a hard day of social upheaval

I would turn to my secret weapon in times of vengeance.

As all the nice kids in their catholic uniforms would hurry

and scurry between classes,

I would let free a rectal missile.

Hurry ,quick.

I would wait at the end of the hall and enjoy

my creation. Ohh man, that was funny.

Kids pointing at each other,

laying the blame where they saw fit.

Never noticing I, standing tall in internal rapture.

Another time I was waiting for the

light to change in Montreal,

freeing a subtle whistle from below.

My girlfriend sensed it's presence and gave me the look.

A job well done I interpreted.

Holding in the laughter as the group

behind us started to retch.

A young boy in the group looked at each their faces and said

confidently, "it was me".

We laughed the rest of the way home.

As the song says. "Life's a gas!"

I couldn't agree more.

My point is, the disease is apart of your life.

It's a strange affliction indeed.

I often wonder what sort of karma brought it about in me.

I believe everyone has their thing, their illness, whatever it may be.

Crohns is controllable, if you've the right attitude.

You must control your stress. The disease begins in your brain,

and ends in your brain.

Even after remission I realized the remaining

problems are in my psyche rather then my bowels.

Every fart initiates a sense of fear.

My mind starts clocking possible escape routes,

there's a bathroom there, there, and

there.

Sweat on my brow,

I tell myself relax,

the worst is over.

I can wear boxers again.

Laugh friends, it's the best coping mechanism.

Trust me.

...gatsby~