Monday, March 8, 2010

Unification.

Like a beast with his horns,
I have torn everyone
who reached out for me.

but I swear by this song
by this song,
and by all that i have done wrong,
i will make it all up to thee.

Thanks Leonard.

And just as Leonard Cohen
struts past my front door.
seemingly understanding
the impressive rhythms of
springtime symmetry,
the day takes a poetic
turn.

So I beat this disease, what's the
next step, I overheard, while
listening intently to the bad connection.
wires crossed, message in a bottle.

Pick a fancy, make it a dress rehearsal.
I heard myself hesitating order to
the crick crackle of modern technology.
The answer was tickling an announcement,
musing through misinterpretation.

Harness that energy.
Winning at anything is a conquered mountain.
The harder the training, the more determined
the effort, the richer the reward.
I once was witness to a marathon.
I saw men and women running what looked
to me, an impossible race. What are they
running from I mused, catching glimpses
of determined legs seemingly detached
from the rest of their body.
What are they running from indeed.

I find after coming out of a battle with Crohns,
I'm filled with a unbridled determination.
The knowledge that I'm in control of my body,
that I have solved the problem of "internal bad
wiring", simply by figuring out what caused the
flare-up in the first place.
It get's me thinking
about how I can apply this knowledge to
dreams and the working world. I don't know
how many times I've heard, usually in intercourse
with money, "well that's the world we live in".
Insinuating that my dreams are separate from
the everyday comings and goings of money passing
hands. Fighting Crohns has empowered me, and
taught me that I'm in control of my life. How
nobody but I, will hold me back, or push me through
the dreams that feed me energy through the hours
of two thirty through four in the AM.

Crohns has taught me that I'm responsible for my
health. That nobody, not even the greatest doctor
in the world can know my body better then I.

I'm reminded of a teacher who points
her crooked index in my direction, threatening
a future digging ditches unless I accept reading
as a way of life, "No matter what you do, You'll
always need to read!". Thanks Mrs. Steele.

Teachers always seem to neglect to eleborate
on the lessons they continually bark at you. That
by learning to love reading it'll make it easier
to study in preparation for interviews, business
deals, debate.
Whether it's negotiating a price for
a used car. Or swallowing whole what information
your doctor decides to peddle out to you.
If you've not studied, or read everything you can
about the subject at hand. Your either going to get swindled
by a greasy gutted glutton, or led astray by an
absent minded medition (doctor). Not to say all doc's are
bad, as I'm batting about fifty-fifty with medical
practitioners. What I'm saying is Fifty-fifty aren't
very good odds, especially if your a betting man or women.

Maybe it's because in our minds, us the regular Joe's and Jessie's,
doctors are on another astral plane. They sit atop a cloud, akin
with Gods, and Goddess's, they deal out life and death like a
frustrated kid perched over an ant hill.
People have this idea that Doctors are above them.
I used to. Until I watched a doctor in Melbourne who "googled"
my symptoms. I laughed, more like, squealed out giggles,
as this realization took hold. I wondered on the walk home,
who he copied his homework from. Was he some rich chinese kid
whose dad bought his degree. Can someone really take a bribe
for something like a medical licence? Do Corporations own Congress?

I also realized that doctors all have beds in their offices. I thought
being a doctor would be a good occupation to have if I felt
for an afternoon siesta.
Anyone can be a doctor folks. But not everyone can become
a good one.
"How am I to tell the dark side from the bad". says Luke.
"when your calm at peace, studying." says the grenouille with the Kermit like voice.

Out of all that you've learned from your illness. What's
the most important lesson you've learned?

Patience.

If you pay attention to intelligent people. You'll realize
they've a certain calmness about them. Sort of like
a twenty-something with a trust-fund.
They don't get frustrated because they take the time
to understand the situation. Someone whose angry is
only angry because they lack the understanding of
that which frustrates them.
Instead of taking a few minutes. Breathing back
some fresh air, a wonderful wondering while.
Thinking to determine what the lesson to be learned is. Rather then
hammering their chest, or whining a sophomore simile,
where the lesson is lost, and no growth was gained.

Imagine an ultimate fighter face to face with string theory.

A simple image that demonstrates how fast one can fall
into the deep abyss of peonic principles.

Take the time to understand is what I'm trying to say.
Humans have developed consciousness for a reason.
It's what makes being alive so wonderful, figuring things out.
I visualize my body like a circuit board. Each sickness simply
put, bad wiring.
I see myself outside my body, the system administrator.
Thinking, desperately at times, problem solving.
When I need help with a problem, I seek out those who
hold the answers, getting many opinions, and through
logic, utilizing the scientific process, coming to a conclusion.
I met this dude in Melbourne, we're in Melbourne today.
Who subscribed to this magazine whose sole purpose was
to keep the reader informed. Upon subscription they
sent you a mini reader about the history of the world, the
french revolution. Political readers, explaining the origins,
of anarchism, bolshevism, communism, socialism, democracy.

(* I wonder how many people in america who chastize Obama
as a socialist, even know what the #*#& a socialist is.
Not very many, my intuition boasts*)

I asked him "why the hell are you reading that stuff bud."

"So as not to get my information from some schmuck who
get's his knowledge written on the toilet walls."

" Huhg", I exhaled, letting him know I understood.

Letting him know I knew what was going on.

"Huhg" a lapse in time, a triggered treasure.

Huhg.

...gatsby~


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